Tag Archives: Twittering tales

Embers

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Three square meals a day, lowered into the pit, the pots checked for tampering afterwards. Even the flimsiest of handles could be fashioned into a shiv.

Despite hellish conditions, with no light or fellowship, the pots always returned empty, and the will to survive and hate endured.

 

Written for: Twittering Tales

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YOU MANIACS!!!

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After years of churning out gibberish the apes finally typed the complete works of Shakespeare.

The boffins in their lab coats seemed very pleased with themselves.

Many moons later Charlton Heston rode along the beach and encountered a semi-submerged Statue of Liberty…

Bloody boffins!

 

Written for: Twittering Tales

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Pyramid Scheme…

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Rameses had promised his favourite concubines that he wouldn’t bury them alive upon his demise, but apparently that had been a catacomb-sized lie.

‘Well that’s just great,’ wailed Hehet over his mummified corpse. ‘What now?’

Ngozi began to angrily carve at the stone walls. ‘Now we make shit up and screw with future historians.’

 

Written for: Twittering Tales

 

 

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The night the WiFi went down…

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They told us it could never happen…that there were redundancies built on top of redundancies. I can still their faces – gaunt, pale and deprived of stimuli, staggering down the dark streets in their sweatpants murmuring about brains and click-bait.

#NeverForget

 

Written for: Twittering Tales

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Punching above my weight…

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During DNA trial #17654 Derek found the gene for sexual attraction. Shredding his notes and torching the lab he left with a small vial containing a potent elixir and began his new life as an Adonis.

 

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Written for: Twittering Tales

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Early Adopter…

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Technology had really taken the adrenaline out of Peeping Tommery – spy cams, zoom lenses and such like.

Roger was old school – Get up close and personal, take a table lamp to the face like a man.

The technician tapped the jar in which his brain floated. ‘No Roger! Bad thoughts!’

 

Written for: Twittering tales

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Bedlam & Breakfast…

Twittering tales

Erosion and rising tides made the property worthless. We bought it for a song and, for a time, lived like kings. Citing senility our children cried foul and came after the inheritance in a midnight raid, prompting a daring scuba flight into obscurity and, ultimately, legend.

 

Written for: Twittering Tales

 

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