You’re always one decision away from an entirely different life…

Hey…

I know I’m supposed to communicate via a lawyer, but I was ringing to say that you can keep the house…

No, it’s not a trick – take it, but there’ll be no more alimony payments…

You’ve already got all our savings…

No, I quit yesterday…

because I was only doing it to fund your lavish lifestyle…

So, have me declared bankrupt…

What do you want me to say – There’s no more money!

Here’s an idea – How bout you get a job?

They’re clearly not my kids and they both hate me…

OK, well good luck with that. I’m gonna throw this phone in the sea and go fishing…

 

Written for: Friday Fictioneers

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

She was convinced he was having an affair. The investigator found no evidence, but his photos were masterful. Together they engaged in more intimate forms of photography. Her husband found the photos, used them to secure a sizeable divorce settlement and lived happily ever after with a succession of trophy wives.

 

Written for: Twittering Tales

You say ‘Tomato,’ I say ‘Extinction Event’

Nagrath surfaced for the first time in a billion years. The last occasion he’d felt this peckish there’d been an abundance of brontosauruses, but now it was all concrete and ants.

‘This’ll never fill me up,’ he sighed, but having polished off the marine life he’d have to make the best of it.

 

Written for: Twittering Tales