You’re always one decision away from an entirely different life…

Hey…

I know I’m supposed to communicate via a lawyer, but I was ringing to say that you can keep the house…

No, it’s not a trick – take it, but there’ll be no more alimony payments…

You’ve already got all our savings…

No, I quit yesterday…

because I was only doing it to fund your lavish lifestyle…

So, have me declared bankrupt…

What do you want me to say – There’s no more money!

Here’s an idea – How bout you get a job?

They’re clearly not my kids and they both hate me…

OK, well good luck with that. I’m gonna throw this phone in the sea and go fishing…

 

Written for: Friday Fictioneers

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

She was convinced he was having an affair. The investigator found no evidence, but his photos were masterful. Together they engaged in more intimate forms of photography. Her husband found the photos, used them to secure a sizeable divorce settlement and lived happily ever after with a succession of trophy wives.

 

Written for: Twittering Tales

Alfresco Dining…

High up on a hilltop he watched from his porcelain throne as she approached the front door of their marital home. The divorce settlement stipulated that she be gifted all four walls, and all four walls she would have – nothing more – nothing less.

With vindictive relish he’d stripped the property – first of its photos, then its furniture – the copper pipes, the electrics and finally the masonry, pairing back and back until the whole structure balanced precariously on a delicate outer eggshell.

A key turning in the lock was all it took – a seismic surge through gossamer that reduced the prize to worthless ash…

 

Written for: Friday Fictioneers

Six Word Stories #4

2. Henry emerged from teleporter half hoover

3. Jesus’ fingerprints found on bunny’s corpse

4. Hell fails Ofsted inspection. Heads roll

5. Santa incarcerated after elf sweatshop raid

7. Brian May enters Nazareth riding badger

8. Miniturised man bites sleeping bed-bug

9. Jewish bank denies holocaust-denyer’s loan

10. Dustin Hoffman obsesses over Rainman sequel

12. Average white band received lacklustre review

13. Velociraptor sues over ‘chicken-splicing’ debacle

14. Terrible first date inside troll’s stomach

15. Dyslexic divorcees win custody of diks

 

See previous: Six Word Stories #3