Monthly Archives: April 2018

The Long Game…

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Under scrutiny Greg’s discovery of a brand new dinosaur turned out to be an ostrich (a rookie mistake in retrospect). Retreating to the bar amidst howls of laughter he witnessed Lovely Rachel snogging Smarmy Terry the top-soil expert. And then, to cap it all off, the nearby volcano they’d been excavating chose that exact moment to erupt.

All in all the palaeontology conference left a lot to be desired.

Watching the lava roar towards him Greg realised there was no chance of escape. He arranged the ostrich bones on the ground and lay down amongst them. The last laugh would be his.

A million years later a landslide unearthed a strange two-headed creature that was proudly proclaimed to be a brand new dinosaur….

 

Written for: Friday Fictioneers

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Philandering 101…

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“Always check into a hotel with a light fitting strong enough to swing off. Ensure that the windows are sufficiently thin that, in the unlikely event of running at full sprint from an angry husband, you can penetrate said pane whilst remaining conscious. Never higher than the first floor, and always with bushes below to deaden the fall where your car keys await wrapped in a towel to protect your modesty as you make good your escape.”

“And presumably: Not being tricked into meeting the aforementioned husband in a secluded setting would be near the top of the list?”

 

100 Words

Written for: Friday Fictioneers

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Millennial Park…

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‘And you say you cloned them from an old smart phone that was found embedded in amber? Are you mad? You’re no idea what you’ve unleashed. Oh my god they’re evolving, they’ve discovered instagram, I’m being tweeted alive. Aggggghhhhhh lol.’

 

239 Characters

Written for: Twittering Tales

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Bloke Depot…

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‘Bloke Depot. How may we assist?’

‘Hello, this is Henry…my wife dropped me off with you a few hours ago whilst she did the weekly shop and hasn’t come back…yes again…because it’s getting dark, I’m scared and I don’t know where I live.’

 

(234 Characters)

Written for: Twittering Tales

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Filed under Flash fiction