Tag Archives: Writing

You say ‘Tomato,’ I say ‘Extinction Event’

Arrival

Nagrath surfaced for the first time in a billion years. The last occasion he’d felt this peckish there’d been an abundance of brontosauruses, but now it was all concrete and ants.

‘This’ll never fill me up,’ he sighed, but having polished off the marine life he’d have to make the best of it.

 

Written for: Twittering Tales

 

 

 

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Embers

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Three square meals a day, lowered into the pit, the pots checked for tampering afterwards. Even the flimsiest of handles could be fashioned into a shiv.

Despite hellish conditions, with no light or fellowship, the pots always returned empty, and the will to survive and hate endured.

 

Written for: Twittering Tales

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Pyramid Scheme…

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Rameses had promised his favourite concubines that he wouldn’t bury them alive upon his demise, but apparently that had been a catacomb-sized lie.

‘Well that’s just great,’ wailed Hehet over his mummified corpse. ‘What now?’

Ngozi began to angrily carve at the stone walls. ‘Now we make shit up and screw with future historians.’

 

Written for: Twittering Tales

 

 

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The night the WiFi went down…

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They told us it could never happen…that there were redundancies built on top of redundancies. I can still their faces – gaunt, pale and deprived of stimuli, staggering down the dark streets in their sweatpants murmuring about brains and click-bait.

#NeverForget

 

Written for: Twittering Tales

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The answer was inside you all along…

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‘Don’t you think I’m a little old for quests?’

‘Not if you want to win my heart,’ the fair maiden cooed.

‘But why does the treasure map have so many exes?’

‘Am I not worth the effort?’

‘Of course.’

When he started the endeavour he was as fat as a house, but several weeks of digging later he was svelte, bronzed and, from a certain angle, ruggedly handsome.

‘That’s more like it,’ announced a delighted maiden.

‘But I never found the treasure!’

‘Oh there never was any treasure. I just wanted to make you a little more presentable.’

He sighed. Perhaps she wasn’t the one after all.

 

Written for: Friday Fictioneers

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Early Adopter…

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Technology had really taken the adrenaline out of Peeping Tommery – spy cams, zoom lenses and such like.

Roger was old school – Get up close and personal, take a table lamp to the face like a man.

The technician tapped the jar in which his brain floated. ‘No Roger! Bad thoughts!’

 

Written for: Twittering tales

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Giving Notice…

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It was an open secret that the top twenty floors could be jettisoned in the event of an emergency – a fire or a raid by the IRS. No one believed it of course. The story was merely the legend-spinning of an overly flamboyant landlady. Little did they realise that they were slowly being conditioned and coerced with subtle advertising and targeted marketing – the best rates and exclusive deals – till finally she had all the rotten eggs in one place – the fraudsters and embezzlers, pariahs and parasites, and that’s when the building became a Christmas tree of lights and the rockets burst into life. Whether they liked it or not her tenants were being evicted from Earth…

 

Written for: Friday Fictioneers

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