Serendipidouche…(Friday Fictioneers)

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Percival was a steel magnate struggling to hide his family’s bankruptcy.

Because he was bankrupt he had failed to pay his gas bill.

As such the ornate lamps that lit his vast estate stood dormant.

Because it was dark a daring vision of loveliness lost her bearings and crashed her light aircraft in a nearby field.

Percival rushed to her aid and the two were instantly smitten.

News of their unusual and joyous union spread throughout the land, and lucrative public appearances abounded.

The vision of loveliness later lost interest…

But Perceval paid her little mind…

After all…

HE WAS RICH!!!

 

Written for: Friday Fictioneers

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16 Comments

Filed under Flash fiction

Stiff Upper Lip…(Twittering Tales)

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…Terribly sorry to impose upon you old chap, but might I beg a brief audience to articulate the pickle in which I find myself. Time is short (as is paper) so allow me to harness the power of brevity and proceed forthwith to the kernel of my concern. I am stranded on a des…

 

[END OF MESSAGE]

277 Characters

Written for: Twittering Tales

 

5 Comments

Filed under Flash fiction, short story

Saint Knick…

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Twelve months after absconding with the grotto fund Roger’s luck finally ran out. Across continents and through complex transactions his pursuers had doggedly followed the money to a run-down warehouse on the outskirts of a one-horse town.

Armed with plastic Christmas tree branches, poised like pitchforks at a witch burning, the angry parents advanced.

Woefully out of shape, with an unkempt beard and a booze-fueled glow, Roger resembled a dishevelled version of the jolly fellow he’d pretended to be. Confused and disoriented by the feral cries for blood he fell back on muscle-memory and pottered outside to separate the naughty from the nice.

‘Ho ho ho,’ he bleated.

 

Written for: Friday Fictioneers

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Filed under Flash fiction

Alfresco Dining…

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High up on a hilltop he watched from his porcelain throne as she approached the front door of their marital home. The divorce settlement stipulated that she be gifted all four walls, and all four walls she would have – nothing more – nothing less.

With vindictive relish he’d stripped the property – first of its photos, then its furniture – the copper pipes, the electrics and finally the masonry, pairing back and back until the whole structure balanced precariously on a delicate outer eggshell.

A key turning in the lock was all it took – a seismic surge through gossamer that reduced the prize to worthless ash…

 

Written for: Friday Fictioneers

32 Comments

Filed under Flash fiction, short story

Gettin’ some fairy tail…

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As Cinderella changed from a pauper into a princess, Siraj transformed from a wealthy socialite on the verge of getting laid into a lowly coachman.

‘This is magical,’ signed Cinderella.

‘Son of a bitch!’ said Siraj.

 

213 Characters

Written for: Twittering Tales

2 Comments

Filed under Flash fiction

400 billion people attend exaggerators anonymous…(#Six Word Stories)

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2. Narcissistic 3D Printer elopes with clone

3. They’re attacking. Ready the pedophile cannon!

4. Exploding zit scuppers mammary groping opportunity

5. Fernando Fingernail rebrands as Santa Claus

6. Colonel Sanders lightly battered, then cremated

6 Comments

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100 Word Wednesday: The Rodent To Redemption…

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A picture tells a thousand words Jerry…

…Because I hired a private detective – that’s how!

…You promised…a million times…’I quit baby, this time I’m going cold turkey.’

…And now I found you back on the Frappuccinos! Do you want our offspring to die of diabetes?

Why can’t you ferret around in the bins like a real man, maybe bring home some leftover pizza or a delicious slice of mouldy bread?

Don’t you bring my mother into this!

No more chances Jerry. Fall off the wagon one more time and I’m taking the kids, the cheese and the whole shebang…

 

Written for: 100 Word Wednesday

9 Comments

Filed under Flash fiction, short story