Bedlam & Breakfast…

Twittering tales

Erosion and rising tides made the property worthless. We bought it for a song and, for a time, lived like kings. Citing senility our children cried foul and came after the inheritance in a midnight raid, prompting a daring scuba flight into obscurity and, ultimately, legend.

 

Written for: Twittering Tales

 

Advertisements

2 Comments

Filed under Flash fiction

Gallows Humour…

img_1827[1]

In the final moments there was doubt. He steeled himself. Life had been a chore and Rachel wasn’t coming back. This wasn’t even a unique place to jump.

On the way down a tiny light came on: Exit.

Who would ever see such a thing unless in freefall?

‘Huh, that’s pretty fun…’

 

Written for: Twittering Tales

3 Comments

Filed under Flash fiction

Giving Notice…

nyc-jill-wisoff

It was an open secret that the top twenty floors could be jettisoned in the event of an emergency – a fire or a raid by the IRS. No one believed it of course. The story was merely the legend-spinning of an overly flamboyant landlady. Little did they realise that they were slowly being conditioned and coerced with subtle advertising and targeted marketing – the best rates and exclusive deals – till finally she had all the rotten eggs in one place – the fraudsters and embezzlers, pariahs and parasites, and that’s when the building became a Christmas tree of lights and the rockets burst into life. Whether they liked it or not her tenants were being evicted from Earth…

 

Written for: Friday Fictioneers

21 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Victoria Falls…

k-rawson

None of Victor’s kids wished to be saddled with the property – grim, prone to subsidence and perpetual reminder of a mirth-free childhood. Let it be forgotten with the old tyrant.

But alas, the last will and testament was clear, as were the sizeable debts that had been left behind.

Victor’s kids were besides themselves…

…Until they realised the log-flume potential.

They delayed the funeral for a year (no one would’ve come anyway) and, shortly before the grand opening, retrieved their father from his frosty limbo, placed him in the front seat and gave him a send off worthy of marvel…

 

Written for: Friday Fictioneers

15 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

It’s off to worse we go…

img_1526

The seven dwarves made a fortune from their pay-per-view site ‘Watch Women Sleep,’ which, while sleazy, was a marked improvement on their original business idea: ‘High Hoes.’

 

175 Characters

Written for: Twittering Tales

7 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

The Long Game…

mt-lemmon-with-tree

Under scrutiny Greg’s discovery of a brand new dinosaur turned out to be an ostrich (a rookie mistake in retrospect). Retreating to the bar amidst howls of laughter he witnessed Lovely Rachel snogging Smarmy Terry the top-soil expert. And then, to cap it all off, the nearby volcano they’d been excavating chose that exact moment to erupt.

All in all the palaeontology conference left a lot to be desired.

Watching the lava roar towards him Greg realised there was no chance of escape. He arranged the ostrich bones on the ground and lay down amongst them. The last laugh would be his.

A million years later a landslide unearthed a strange two-headed creature that was proudly proclaimed to be a brand new dinosaur….

 

Written for: Friday Fictioneers

26 Comments

Filed under Flash fiction

Philandering 101…

photoa

“Always check into a hotel with a light fitting strong enough to swing off. Ensure that the windows are sufficiently thin that, in the unlikely event of running at full sprint from an angry husband, you can penetrate said pane whilst remaining conscious. Never higher than the first floor, and always with bushes below to deaden the fall where your car keys await wrapped in a towel to protect your modesty as you make good your escape.”

“And presumably: Not being tricked into meeting the aforementioned husband in a secluded setting would be near the top of the list?”

 

100 Words

Written for: Friday Fictioneers

18 Comments

Filed under Flash fiction