Saint Knick…


Twelve months after absconding with the grotto fund Roger’s luck finally ran out. Across continents and through complex transactions his pursuers had doggedly followed the money to a run-down warehouse on the outskirts of a one-horse town.

Armed with plastic Christmas tree branches, poised like pitchforks at a witch burning, the angry parents advanced.

Woefully out of shape, with an unkempt beard and a booze-fueled glow, Roger resembled a dishevelled version of the jolly fellow he’d pretended to be. Confused and disoriented by the feral cries for blood he fell back on muscle-memory and pottered outside to separate the naughty from the nice.

‘Ho ho ho,’ he bleated.


Written for: Friday Fictioneers


Filed under Flash fiction

18 responses to “Saint Knick…

  1. I somehow don’t think that is going to convince the mob 🙂

  2. As long as he doesn’t try to sit any of them on his knee… Good one to start the day.

  3. Do the kids get to watch the ensuing fight? Would make up for the lack of presents.

  4. This is both horrifying and funny. Not everyone can to that 🙂

  5. If any of the parents have real pitchforks, he’s going to be in a lot of trouble.

  6. Dale

    No good will come of this…

  7. Martin, You’ve just confirmed my childhood fears that the man on whose lap I was sitting was a crook! Fun little story!

  8. Oh, Bad Santa!! Like your interpretation of the prompt.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

  9. Clever title, and I love how you hint at the Santa resemblance without ever quite clarifying.

  10. I like the idea of him being attacked with plastic Christmas tree branches. Quick and clever.

  11. Clever story that made me smile.

  12. I enjoyed this, made me smile.
    Not sure a bleating ho ho ho is going to be enough to save him.

  13. michael1148humphris

    A story to make one think… It is so sad that Christmas has been taken over by capitalism. St Nicholas is not to blame.

  14. Such a cute story and he could also be referred to as a “Grinch”.

  15. TheDiaryOfSin

    This was great, lovely even. So many thinks and ways to interpret it 😀

  16. Well done Martin! I see the look on his face when the y finally caught up with him. And oh the hangover the next day.

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