One-Up-Man-Ship…(Friday Fictioneers)


‘You’re nobody in life unless you own a vessel sumptuous enough to accommodate a fully laden helicopter from which a bevy of scantily-clad uber-babes / Adonis’s (delete as appropriate) endlessly spill…

…Or at least, that’s the word on the street; a word spread by yours truly.

Boat building is all about leveraging insecurities.

You’re worthless without stuff!

My current arm’s race involves a pot-bellied platinum magnate, a wig-wearing premiership footballer and an Internet starlet who takes copious photos of her bottom.

As for me – I don’t own a boat.

But you should see the size of my house!


(100 words)

Written for: Friday Fictioneers


Filed under Flash fiction

22 responses to “One-Up-Man-Ship…(Friday Fictioneers)

  1. I love the deliciously ironic (and very human) ending.

    For me, it would be a huge greenhouse, inside a vast library. Regulating the temperature and humidity would be a costly nightmare, of course. And I would be forever grinning.

  2. You know size doesn’t matter, right? 🙂

  3. Lynn Love

    Nicely done, Martin. Of course, that’s how this thing works, one upmanship. Saw a documentary about millionaires and their boats a few months back – it is as obscene and decadent as you suggest. Nicely done

  4. Dear Martin,

    The difference between men and boys is the price of their toys. 😉 Good stuff.



  5. Excellent. I would love to have a boat, I’m not even fussed about size.

  6. You’re worthless without stuff! This line made me laugh! Too bad some people think it’s true.

  7. My favourite read of this picture prompt – just brilliant

  8. michael1148humphris

    Most stuff only holds you back, even big houses. Mind you I am with Magaly, I love a huge greenhouse.

  9. Dale

    This is so sadly true of so many people. Love the irony here!

  10. Ha ha! This person has a very good understanding of the human psyche 🙂

  11. gahlearner

    I’d build a bigger greenhouse than Magaly and then… Not really. Do these people even know how to dream? Great story.

  12. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover

    This was a lot of fun.

  13. Ha! Bigger is better right? Very clever. I enjoyed this

  14. His cynicism is great and gets him just what he wants. I love the way he’s identified his clients weaknesses to be able to exploit them

  15. Ha ha! Good marketing is all about leveraging insecurities. Nicely done.

  16. What a brilliant take on the FF prompt! Fantastic

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